ADHD · ADHDailies · Adulting · Holidailies · Holidailies 2017

ADHDailies 8: Honesty

I’m not talking about honesty as the reverse of lies, I’m talking about honesty as the reality of my life. I filmed a video about the reality of what my week looks like after I’ve actually planned it. I’ll add it here if I’ve uploaded it already before this goes up, otherwise, you can find it on my Youtube channel soon.

But there are so many more ways of honesty that get lost. Both when we’re talking about planning and setting up goals but also when we’re talking about things that we do in our day to day lives. A lot of this comes down to prioritizationĀ of tasks.

Here is my honest life which you’re missing when you’re looking at my videos and read my posts.

Generally, what I get ‘told’ by society and also things on social media is that my priorities should look like this:

1. Having a clean home

2. Eating healthy

3. Working out

4. My own work

And that image keeps being pushed at me, especially when I’m in planning or other communities that have a lot of women in them. I’m primarily supposed to care for my home and the way that I look, and at the bottom of the list should be my work. Missing from this list is the fact that I don’t have kids, I have a boyfriend and two cats, luckily, they don’t require much caring from me that requires planning. Kids would probably end up on number 2 on the above list.

But I’m not like that and I’m tired of not speaking up about it. Here is my honesty, this is what my list looks like:

1. My own work

2. Eating healthy

Yep. That’s my list. My work is my most important thing on the list. Why? Because I love my work and it gives me great satisfaction. My work is always first. Second on the list is eating healthily. This used to not be on my list much, years ago, but I was 210 lbs mid-2015, which was too much for me, I’m now around 140 lbs and have been for the past year. Eating healthy is important because it immediately influences my health, which I need to be able to live and to do all the other things.

The rest? Cleaning is important, but it’s not our primary focus in this household.

The things is… my boyfriend and I split the tasks around the house up. We both work full-time (even when I still worked from home), so neither of us had much time during the week to do things, and on the weekend we were often exhausted and needed time off. So, we split the important tasks up or do them together. We cook together, literally, we’re always both in the kitchen and working on dinner at the same time. He vacuums the house. I do the laundry (I talked about how in the post about Executive Functioning). Those tasks usually go really well. But there are things that often get left behind more. Like doing the dishes, we’ve collected probably about a week worth of dishes right now, because we’re both too tired to do it at the end of the day.

And working out? I’ve given up on that. I haven’t found a way to fit that in my schedule, and I often find that if I do manage to put it in, one of the other areas starts to fall, sometimes multiple at a time. So, I gave up. I walk about 40 minutes a day, 20 to and 20 back from my office, and that’s enough for me.

So, here is my honesty: I keep control over my work and over my general health, but my house (and also office…) is a mess and I don’t care.

I’m not perfect, and I don’t have to be.

I’m good enough as I am.

What is your one honesty that you don’t normally speak about?

Love,

Rosa

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